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treater in the client’s mind has ‘blinked,’ meaning that the holding
environment is defective and cannot contain the painful organizations that
dwell within the client. The client is back-handedly validated that the
false self is healthier than the tormented true self that yearns for
acceptance, nurturing and empathy. This suggestion from the treater may
circumvent the true self back into the abyss under the guise of keeping the
more sophisticated defenses intact. A gain of this type is nothing but smoke
and mirrors that dilutes motivation for further investigation and the client
may be left with the impulsive recoil to go along with the treater’s
suggestion and ‘quit’.
You’re Right, I Quit.
The client may quit out of hatred because the
treater has exposed the treater’s defected container. |
The disappointed client is now in a foolish and
humiliated light induced by the sham of hope. After all, it was suggested by
the treater that the true self could be written off and barred in favor of
more useful and adaptive false self. The whole scenario may come off as
being used again, “You don’t like me, only who I am able to pretend to be.”
The Alternative
In the genesis of the new holding
environment, a highly defended client must be able to internalize that an
alternate supportive structure from the treater can maintain some measure of
protection.
This invites the client to view the world
without the safety of the armored false self. It stands to reason, before
one can venture out into a dangerous situation, the partner |
must provide a sense of protection. Akin to the
ole western movies, that when one makes a break for it, the other will
provide cover. Basically, when a
traumatized client’s pain presents as ‘non-adaptive’, remember…
Don’t Blink and Cover!
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