The War Machine and Mental Health
Written by Kathi Stringer
Cavort: The mental health system implied represents inpatient treatment at Riverside General Hospital (RGH).
The War Machine
The US got together it's very best to formulate, build and train an effective war machine to eradicate, annihilate and erase opposing forces. This machine was the construct from endorsements of the Senate, Congress and Assemblyman. This embodiment represents our elected officials and so elected by the good faith of the majority of citizens of America to carry forth the will and intent of American people. Therefore, the actions and effectiveness of the war machine may be viewed as a representation of the institutions and ideologies that created and endorsed it.
Basically, that said, the direction and attitudes of the war machine reflect directly on those that created it. The will, morals and ethical virtues of this Nation are the foundation from which this war machine is firmly rooted.
Succinctly, the war machine is a probable reflection of the beliefs and attitudes of the majority of the American people. The machine was well thought out, well structured, well designed, well trained and highly effective. The war machine takes care of business and does what it was designed for -- to protect the security of the United States.
The Mental Health System
After pondering the strength and effectiveness of the war machine and linking that effectiveness with the American people, why then should the mental health delivery system be viewed any differently? After all, those that run the system were trained by our institutions, and we as a nation decided what knowledge, tone and attitude should passed onto its students. One has to assume we are using our best trainers and thinkers of our time to set into motion a care system that is healing and compassionate for the people it represents. Ourselves.
My Experience
When hospitalized, I was called 'crazy', 'coo coo' and repulsive by a multicultural and multidisciplinary treatment team that encompassed three shifts of people. In my mind this team represented those that trained, supported and empowered them. Mainly, my society. Society has put its essence into the framework of the vocational system to reflect the concerns of its citizens.
So, when I am asked, "How does what happened to me have anything to do with the rest of society outside the mental health system?" I answered, "Because the mental health system was trained to heal. They were trained to put its best foot forward, and if this is its best, to reflect on me so poorly, demeaning and contemptuous, then I am an alien and truly am on the wrong planet. The mental health system as done what it has been designed to do, and I have felt it. They have said I was repulsive and defective."
The Aftermath
Now, I feel angry and behind that anger is hurt, sadness and disappointment. I feel like I'm not worth the trouble to be nurtured. I feel like my feelings are bizarre and without merit. The mental health system taught me this and our governing agencies and the Constitution supported their position.
I feel rebellious. I feel they are wrong -- or -- if they are right, then I have no worth, because that which I hold dear, my child alter is repulsive and all I ever wanted was to be loved, loved for my true-self and not the false masque that I hide behind to protect myself from hurtful faces.
The American people have their war machine to protect them.
They are protected.
I have the mental health system to protect me. If this is truly protection, then I will forever wonder about the feelings of safety, validation and nurturing. Because I have been stripped and raped of my true-self. It has been cast aside and found repulsive.
I feel lost, confused and hopeless.
Who am I?
They are repulsed by what is behind the masque.
They say it is a delusion.
Then my true-self is a delusion.
Then I truly am an alien on the wrong planet. I am not me, only who I pretend to be. They want their Pretender, not me.